God is so good to have given me a foreshadowing of what was to come. In hard times, it is easy to fall back on the safety nets from the past. I find myself holding onto things I hadn't even recognized. Things that are being brought to my attention and then taken away one at a time. Obviously, adoption is near to the heart of our Lord. We are adopted into His family through the blood of Jesus. So, why then do I worry that He would lead me on this path only to give up on me now? Why don't I put my trust in Him to be with me through this process? I worry that we will get right up to the end and not be able to follow through. How can I throw down these safety nets that I have been hanging onto? God is showing me. He is taking things away each at its own time and showing me His provision:
Savings account? Going, going, going, going...
Family support? Until the next group of kids come (then, well, that's too many.)
Tax refund? Under consideration...
Husband's job? Waves of business come and go...
What else? What if our "strong government" were to fail. What if all of a sudden my bank account was empty and I no longer owned property. What if I had no idea how to pay my bills next month or where my groceries would come from?
Do I really mean, "Give us this day our daily bread?" Do I really trust God to meet my needs at all time?
When Jesus called some of the disciples, they literally threw down their nets, left everything and followed Him! (Mark 1:18 and Luke 5:11) Can I let go of my "safety nets?"
I am holding on to so many! I worry, who will help me if my family doesn't approve? I will need help once our family grows to 6 or 8 children with the next adoption. I always rely on my family when I really need them, but God said: And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. Matthew 19:29. This is for His sake. This is our true form of worship. We want to honor God by loving the special people He chooses to bless us with. So, I need to remember that God has provided. What I think I need and what I really need are not necessarily the same thing. That there are people provided by Him who will fill the gaps that are left. Everything that is sacrificed in this breath of life will be regained in all of eternity. I will be meditating on these things as I attempt to throw down my "nets" to follow after HIM.
