If We Could Only See

So many days she was hungry. There wasn't enough to eat, and she felt responsible to feed her siblings first. She had a few toys, brought to her by her grandparents, God-parents and friends, but even these were only temporary as her Uncle would break into their home as steal them or the neighborhood kids would let them selves in when she wasn't at home.

Supposedly, she was saved from that environment and placed in safety, but that turned out to be just another place to survive. The food, although nutritious, was rationed, as was the toilet paper, and the affection. At least at the new place, she was able to begin collecting things of her own. She was proud to have her own music, clothing, and school supplies.

Finally, it was time for a permanent home. Our home. She move in with all of her broke, toys, missing pieces, and too-small clothes. We showed her how to organize, threw away some of the broken things, but showed her that we would replace them for her. Showed her that she never had to worry about not having enough.

Only, there was this single bag of markers. Half-used-up, filled to the top of the bag, collection of markers. Sprinkled with a few crayons in various colors. As we were organizing and putting stuff away, I asked her to put those with the other markers in the school room. She clutched the bag to her chest and said, "no!" She did not want to share those. They were important to her. I explained that I had just placed a very large order for more art supplies and the number and variety of markers far exceeded those in her bag, but she still held fast to the ziplock. She was not about to let it go. When I explained again that, while the markers she has are nice, the stuff that was coming would amaze her. She would be so excited to get her hands on them, but she had to trust me first and let go of that bag.

 She still has the bag. I felt frustrated. I can see something she can't and I can see how she going to lose. I felt that if she would just believe me, she would have more than she can even imagine! More than she has ever had in her ENTIRE life! And then it hit me...isn't this just the way we are? Aren't there things I am holding onto simply because I am so afraid to let them go? I cling tightly to my "marker bag" not trusting that what is coming is so much better that I will feel foolish when I see the comparison. I know it is only when I choose to let go of what I hold precious, that I am blessed with an abundance that I could never imagine. Sometimes it is money, or an idea, or a plan. Sometimes my "marker bag" is a person or place. I hold on to so many things that I could give up and see the blessings rain down. I pray that this is a reminder to me that all He has for us is so much more than I can even imagine - A reminder to lookahead and remember that this is NOT my home and that I have a heavenly store house waiting for me. Also, I pray that she learns through this that she also can give up the things of this world and watch what God can do!!

“No eye has seen,

no ear has heard,

no mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those who love him”— 1 Corinthians 2:9