Courage

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can

and wisdom to know the difference.

As the pastor began preaching on this prayer Sunday morning, my first thoughts were about how I didn't need to hear this message.  That statement in itself was a red flag.  Usually, if I think those thoughts about a sermon, I probably really need to hear it!  The trouble was, I thought this message was going to be about addiction.  Like, drugs, alcohol, etc.  I don't have an addiction.  (Unless you want to count food and caffeine.)

As I acknowledged that I needed to hear the sermon, I listened very carefully for God to reveal the message he has hidden in there just for me.  When I ask Him to show me, He is always faithful.  The message for me was undoubtedly courage.  (And wisdom.)

I had a dream the other night that was about living in the New House and having a bad-guy shoot a gun at my house.  I was left in fear.  Because I know the Lord is not the God of fear, I prayed that I would understand the dream.  I felt God saying to me that I might be afraid as we go through this process, but that He was there with me and that I don't need to be afraid.

Now, tie that dream into my passion...the orphan crisis...and I am able to begin to understand why God might have had me listen to that sermon.  I am so passionate about children without homes.  It kills me to think about.  It breaks my heart.  I want to run off and take care of everyone of them.  Obviously, I can't.  It isn't even a little bit possible.  I need the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  I also need to trust my husband's strategy for helping as many as we can.  Effecting as many people as God has for us to effect.  This is where I need courage. 

We are moving forward with the move.  I was overwhelmed with fear.  I was sick to my stomach at the step we were taking.  Thankfully, the thoughts that were coming into my head were so ridiculous that I immediately got out my Bible and filled my head with thoughts that were in line with what God has for me. 

Here are some funny things that cropped up!  First:  I was reading Philippians and I came across this verse:  I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. vs 1:20.  Then, I finished Philippians and was reading about the prophet Jeremiah and how he was hated and how he had to have COURAGE to continue his prophetic ministry. 

That word COURAGE.  I found it everywhere:  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua

I know now how that prayer applies to me. 

Lord.  Please grant me the serenity to understand that I don't have to take on the entire orphan crisis on my own and that by doing so, I might get in my own way of doing what You have for me to do.  Please give me the COURAGE to do the things I can to work toward helping those children You place in my care.  Please help me not to be afraid due to my own doubts and insecurities.  Please help me trust you to be the one to provide, that I don't have to take all that on nor do I have to expect Kevin to do it.  And Lord - PLEASE grant me the wisdom to know the difference.  To know when to get myself out of my own way so that I am not running in a direction that is the opposite of where you would have me go just because it feels good to be moving.  Please grant me the peace to be still and wait on Your direction.  Please grant me the wisdom in obvious ways - blocking my path if I go astray.  How humble am I that I can come before you and ask these things.  How amazing YOU are that you are willing to be active with me in my life that You make Yourself known and that I can count on You to lead and guide me.  Amen!!!