Taking up my Cross

Today as I sat in church, I felt the Lord making clear a passage that I had, before, not completely understood and then (as is His way in my life) He confirmed in the message the pastor was sharing.

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

This is a fairly common verse and the times I have read / heard it were many.  Most times I don't know that I gave it much thought, but I know the times I did think about it, I was simply wrong.

I wondered...how to follow a god who asks us to DENY myself and take up a CROSS DAILY?!?  That seemed next to impossible.  The few times I have tried (really tried) to deny myself, I failed.  I always related this to an attempt at a diet.  Like:  Deny myself a doughnut or pizza.  Certainly, I was NOT capable of self-denial.  Then:  How in the world was I going to take up a cross daily!?!  Really?  I know how hard it is to do "hard" and my guess is that taking up a cross is beyond any "hard" I have ever done and to do that daily???  I can't even do sit-ups everyday!

Then.  I had trouble reconciling it to:  Matthew 11:28 - 30 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”


Today, though Gods yoke was easy.  I did learn from Him.  I realized that in order to take up my cross, I can't possibly carry anything of my own.  If I have my own burdens, then the cross will sit there.  It isn't until I lay those things down at the cross that I will be able to then lift it up.  (Deny myself!  AH!!!  Nothing to do with doughnuts!)  Also, to lift a cross and move it would take complete focus on the task at hand.  It would be big, heavy, cumbersome.  I think I would have to focus on each step, going slowly, looking only directly at the path I am traveling.  I would not be able to look around and get distracted without getting injured.  (I get it:  focus on HIM daily).  Then, maybe the verses in Matthew compliment this.  Now, I think as I would walk down God's path with my cross, I would realize it is lighter and lighter.  When I looked up I would see Christ is carrying my cross for me.  I would have rest for my soul and my burden would be light.  I would be denying the things that get in the way, but I have to do this "daily" or constantly because if I get busy with being busy, I will miss out.  First my burden will get heavy, I could get hurt, and then I might drop the cross all together to focus back on myself.  I follow You Lord!