Going Forward in His Name

Linny, at A Place Called Simplicity opened up a link for her wonderful Memorial Box Monday posts.  I love these encouraging posts and I love that it reminds me to remember all of the miracles God provides for us on a regular basis!

A couple of posts ago, I mentioned that God had been with me through a time of change and He showed Himself clearly.  Well, here is the rest of that story!

Two things were bothering me:  1.  I was concerned about how to educate my special needs daughter at home.  She has a lot to still go through and she had a really rough past, so bringing her home seemed like it would give her the nurture and love that she so needed, but I felt ill-equipped.  God answered that right away with a conference in FL that was specifically structured to her needs.  But (2.) I live 3,000 miles from that conference.  So, Ok Lord, now what?

Here's what:  I very much felt it was the Lord who showed me that conference and I felt that I should go.  This is very contrary to my natural behavior.  I had a nanny who helped us on a regular basis, but she was changing jobs at exactly that time and was completely unavailable.  I felt like going was impossible, but since I thought it was the Lord's leading, I went ahead and purchased the tickets, paid for the hotel, and booked the flight.  Still, no baby sitter for my 5 kids and 4 dogs.  I remembered, though.  God sometimes wants us to go forward even before we know how it will "all work out."  I just trusted that it would.

The time kept getting closer and closer.  I was a little nervous.  Kevin surprised me with an invitation to a late lunch one day and I accepted.  We had been discussing the situation, but neither of us had a solution yet.  As we entered the restaurant, I was praying.  I asked God, "Maybe the waitress needs more hours."  As the prayer entered my head and heart, I thought I must be desperate and felt very silly. I do that sometimes and I think God thinks I am silly.  (I hope so!)  Anyway, if you read the post before, you will remember that our waitress recognized me and I remembered her from when she was younger.  (I didn't know she worked there and I hadn't seen her in about 4ish years.  I knew her when she was a young teen and I knew her family.  I could never have anticipated seeing her there, though! - not even the same town!!!)  We got to chatting and I (of course) asked her if she might be interested in child care.  I couldn't talk to her long because she was busy, but a few days later, she came to our home, met our kids and our dogs and they all loved her!  (of course) and she agreed to stay with them while we went to the conference!  The kids had a great time with her while we were gone and she has now agreed to be our new nanny! 

So, just incase you need a recap:  God provided a conference full of the information I needed RIGHT when I needed it and then He provided help exactly in the silly way I had been praying.  He could have done this in so many ways (in fact, I had almost called this sweet girl's mom that morning, but couldn't get to it.)  I fully believe that He provided in this way so that it is clear that it was HIS doing.

Over and over again in John and many other books of the Bible, Jesus calls us to ask in His name so that the FATHER can be glorified.  John 14:13  "And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son."

In a Way That We Know it is Him!

I haven't posted in a while.  I have been busy.  But what I really have been doing is forgetting.

Forgetting to let God take control. 
Forgetting that HE knows what I need.
Forgetting to ask and WAIT.

Does God ever crack you up?  I mean seriously.  I asked God, really asked, to see more of Him.  I felt "lonely" for Him.  I have seen Him working lately, and I feel His presence, but I haven't had any personal accounts and I missed it.  God reminded me that it was because I was so busy taking care of my own stuff that I forgot to involve Him.  Let's just say this is not a good plan!

So, I went to God and asked.  Then, I picked up my Bible and remembered to LOOK for Him.  Then, He did it!  Answers started pouring in.  And the last one, that's one to watch.  That one is the one that cracked me up.  But it is last,  I have to list the others first.

First:  We have been praying for a young run-away addict who was living with her dealer.  I had an opportunity to minister to her for a short time and she still made the decision to go.  I was heartbroken and when I lost communication, I believed that the worst had probably happened.  My only hope was that she had made a decision for Christ at one point and I couldn't believe He would ever let her go.  She is just a kid!  I learned that she was in a new home and at church!  YESTERDAY!  God is sooooo good to bring her through that!  God reminded me that I don't get to know what "too far gone" looks like.  There is ALWAYS hope in Him!  Praise the Lord!

Then:  I have a very delayed adopted daughter who is struggling with everything from grief and loss to adjusting.  She also has psychiatric needs that complicate her processing.  She has only been in our home for a year and a half and she is 15.  I decided to change the way we are tackling her school.  I desperately was in search of information and when I finally let go of the late-night crazy pursuit, an email came across my desktop with a conference that looks like it is designed to meet my needs and questions!  God is soooooo Good!  Now, I just have to get there.  But!  I have no doubt that it will happen.

But!  Next and Last:  We have a nanny who the kids love and who would be willing to stay with the kids while I am gone at the conference except that she is changing jobs right at the time the conference is on.  I don't blame her.  She has a college degree and a heart for children.  She will do great things, but, that left me without someone at a time when I really need someone.  So I prayed.  Today.  I asked God to bring to mind someone I am not thinking of, someone that He has for our family.  I went to lunch with my hubby and as we walked into the restaurant, I prayed that if there is a waitress that might want some extra hours please bring her to our attention.  Then, I laughed at myself because I thought I must be desperate to try to recruit just anyone, even the waitress.  I laughed out loud when our waitress looked down at me and said, "Wait, I know you!"  And she did!!!  I had known her and her family since she was young, but I hadn't seen them since she was a teen.  They are wonderful people and I really like this girl.  I brought it up with her right then and there.  And I followed with a phone call.  I cannot guarantee she will say yes, but I know God wanted me to ask!  And to make this part even more funny, I accidentally came across her mom's phone number today while looking for the phone number of a previous babysitter who might be able to help.  Remember, this is someone I haven't talked to in  long time!  How great is it that God would put on my heart to pray for a waitress when there was NO reason I should expect to see someone I know.  Different town, bigger town.  So fun.  I love that God not only answers prayers, but He answers them in a way that we cannot deny it is Him!  Awesome.  Thank you God.

My verse for today is:  Be still and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10

God will be our Guard

Basketball

Christmas

Shopping

Finals

Big projects due

Resources stretched too thin - Mine .  God's never fail!

It was probably about 6:15 tonight when we headed back out to "just one more stop" to wrap-up the first day of Christmas shopping.  It was also the first day of "Christmas planning," which is not usually the way I do things.  I.  Have. A. System...and this ain't it!

On my way out the door...literally, my son says, "Can you write me a note to get out of this assignment?"

No.

The argument centered around: when he knew about the assignment, when I knew about the assignment, etc...unfortunately, it was one in which I had to participate.  Unfortunately for him, it was due tomorrow and I was on my way out the door.

The English class read the book Under the Overpass.  It was an amazing and moving book.  The assignment was to do one of the 4 challenges that were listed at the end of the book.  There was really only one available tonight and that was to pick up a bag of take-out, buy something warm to drink and hang out with the homeless.  (It was 8:30 pm before we left the house to start this project.)

My hubby didn't love the idea of us traipsing all over town looking for a homeless person to bless at night in this particular city (well know for the high crime rate) but I assured him that I am friendly with a homeless lady who hangs out at the Walgrreens and we would just go find her.

We picked up some McDonald's and drove past the Walgreens...She wasn't there.  Probably good since she likes sweets, not burgers.  I know another guy I visit with occasionally outside of the grocery store, so we went there next.  Nope.  Gone.  Hmmm.  It was approaching 9 and I was nervous.  We found a group of 3 men, but we weren't comfortable approaching a group at night.  I knew of a couple of other spots, but it is a cold night so hopefully they had all found shelter for the evening. 

At this point, I was ready to call it a day.  It wasn't a good idea to be unsafe (for us or for a person we would approach).  And this is where God knew.  We drove by one more place and we saw a man pushing a cart walking with a security guard.  I told my kids (the 2 oldest went) to jump out, offer the food and then we will go if we were interrupting something.  We found that the security guard was just escorting the man because the police harass him.  We were able to talk to him for a long time about how he became homeless, about how he eats, sleeps, and gets money.  He was very kind and had a tragic history.  The security guard was a nice person too and we all had a nice talk.  We were blessed to know him and his name is Jerry.  We plan to go back and meet him again, maybe bring him a sandwich next time.

I am so in love with the God I serve.  I fully and totally believe we were supposed to be right where we were tonight.  In all honesty, we wouldn't have had to "do" this assignment.  We have had many opportunities to interact with the homeless and he could have written the assignment based on one of those experiences.  Thankfully, we took the opportunity so that we were allowed a blessing.  The only "worry" was that it might not be super safe to approach a homeless person at night, but how about if God provides a security guard for an escort!!!  Just a thought, though.  We had to FIRST agree to take the risk.  Before we knew that we would be completely safe, we had to commit by getting in the car, and commit by purchasing food THEN God revealed HIS part of the provision.  (I need to remember that!)

There is nothing God won't do.  No problem is too big if we step out in faith and follow His example.  I know we were safe without the guard.  But, isn't it just like God to provide that person for us to give us a physical example of HIS protection!  It is the relation with Jesus that protects, not the location of your body.

Isaiah 52:12b "...For the Lord will go before you, the God of Israel will be your rear guard."

In Every Little Thing

Me - "Yeah, I am planning to go."
The next day, I got an email that read:  Ok, Sandi will be there and she will be in charge.  Remind her about the calendars in case she forgets.

Hmmm.  That wasn't exactly what I meant when I said I would "be there." I was just going to show up.

That was Wednesday.  The day my 13 year old, special needs, foster daughter decided to scream at me about the babysitter I had hired.  Spewing ugly, hateful words.  Which, unfortunately, since that babysitter hadn't been available, I got to listen to for 2 hours while going to pick up the foster baby from his parent visit.  Needless to say, I didn't remember the calendars, showed up about an hour and a half late and did everything in my power to keep from crying through the whole evening.

Today
I stayed up until 3 am last night trying to find a solution to the aggressive anger my foster daughter is displaying.  (Actually, was done by 2 but then the foster baby woke for his bottle)  Up at 6 for my oldest son to get to his Monday morning bible study.  3 hours of sleep was not enough.  At 9 my sister showed up.  All the kids at home were still asleep and I was still hoping for a short nap if the baby would go to sleep.  She offered to stay and let me sleep.  That sleep put me late for the psychiatrist appointment we had today at 1.

In the apparent chaos that is my life, I am getting a very clear picture of the Lord at work.  I never understood how He was in every little thing.  I know He is in the things that "happen," but what about when things don't happen?  It's Him.  He is there in the lack of action too!  These two days were perfect examples of it.

Wednesday, I felt very frustrated about being the one left in charge for 2 reasons.  First, I had prayed for a very long time and felt it was not my duty to promote Orphan Care at the church right now.  I am supposed to do many things to make it happen as it is written in His Word, but this particular part is not what I am called to do.  Also, I had said many times that I am not able to commit right now to "run" anything due to our family dynamics.  We still need more time to adjust before I can commit.  (Maybe why I am not called to promote anything right now?)  The fact that the melt down happened that day in such a fierce way actually worked in my favor to show that I truly can't commit to running things and also physically kept me from doing what God had showed me not to do.  Since I arrived late, I was able to get emotional support from both a close friend and our pastor.

Then today, although I should have been more responsible to be there on time, because I wasn't, I was also blessed tremendously.  In fact, as I was on my way, I prayed that God would work a miracle to get me there on time.  I remembered the blog post I wrote about how HE can literally do anything and this time I DIDN'T doubt! AT! ALL!  Once I was late and realized that God was not going to bring me to the office on time, I called to tell them I was late, but as I dialed the phone, a peace came over me and I knew it was for the best.  I almost wanted to say, "I know I am late, but it is going to be better because there is something that is going to work out better than if I were there on time..."  Of course I didn't say that, I just groveled.  They said that their 2 O'Clock just cancelled and I thought "Of course" and then the therapist suggested we have a "quick check in" since we have a little extra time now.  "Of course."  So, after an incredibly difficult week with my foster daughter, we not only got to have the psychiatrist appointment, but we also got extra time with her therapist!  It just so happens that the person coordinating all of the services also was free during that time to check in as well.  I don't think I would have been surprised if Santa rode in on a unicorn!  It was that unreal and yet that completely real at the same time.

And...I don't want to forget that just when I thought I would throw up from lack of sleep, with the possibility of sleep quickly slipping away and the fear of a long drive on no sleep, my sister "stops by" and sends me back to bed.  That would have been enough for a memorial box Monday!

Only in my weakness and failure can God do such big things.  I am not purposely trying to mess up to see God rescue me, but when I have given my all, cried and ached and grew weary, God rescued me.  Out of my mistakes and into His embrace, out of my chaos and into His comfort.  Only through Him.

God's Trade. Memorial Box Monday

On the list of things to pray about, it was at the bottom.  I am not sure there was any wisdom in this, it just fell to the "automatic" side of my brain.

We bought the house, it needed fixed, it was part of the job.  It is a job, just like the jobs of many other people in the country.  The only difference is that I don't have anyone standing over me with a work order or a time sheet.  It is up to me to get it done and up to me to decide when to do it.  The problem is that the longer it takes to get done, the more money I lose.

BEFORE

The top of my prayer list:
  Foster daughter (soon to be adopted daughter) with behavior problems, anxiety, school issues.
  Foster baby's family getting ready for their baby's return (the joy and pain involved with that)
  Preparation for our newest (adult) child to move into our home
  the constant stream of social workers and counselors and therapists through my often messy home
  Preparation for Homeschooling 3 this year

I know that there are people who wake up every day and put every thought, need, and circumstance before the Lord. I wish I could say I was one of those people.  I do pray - like crazy.  But, mostly, I pray for the most pressing things and forget to ask for help with the little things.  I know I talked to God about this particular job, but I hadn't specifically asked for help or even given the job much thought other than, "I can't see any possible way to do this."  (Which would make you think it was pressing, but the other things in life were so much bigger, this was barely a twinkle on the radar screen.)  I said to Kev, "There is absolutely nothing in my life right now that I can handle without prayer.  Nothing that I can do on my own."

Now, if you will be very patient, this story is best told unabridged.  Every part necessary.

First:  Man calls:  Will we please sell him the house for a 20K return.  We say no because it is in a good location, we like the house and think it will be a good investment.  The 20K would be nice, but also necessary to get into another similiar house and then we would have to go through the trouble of finding another and we would lose the time we had now for "fixing" the new house putting us that much more "out" for our date of completion.  (We have a very low price point.)\

Next:  Man asks again.  Again, we say no.



Then:  Man stops at house while work is going on to suggest a trade.  He has sentimental attachment to the house.  He is buying a house around the corner that is in much much much better shape and would like to trade the two houses "as-is."  We are certain there is a catch.  This is a much better deal for us than for him and we tell him that.  We tell him about all the things that need to be fixed, we tell him about what we have done, but what needs to be completed.  He still wants to trade.

AFTER (The trade)

So:  After we see that everything checks out, we agree.  We sign papers in the morning agreeing to the trade.  We continue to try to do the jobs God puts in front of us.  This wasn't a "church" job, this wasn't a ministry.  This isn't going to be used as a retreat of a place for conferences.  This is just our work. Our every-day job. There is absolutely no logical reason this person should trade homes with us.  They are literally identical in every way, except one needs thousands of dollars and hundreds of man hours worth of work and the other needs almost nothing.  It is incredible to think God would get involved.  That He would provide in an area that was just our "every day" living.  Even when I wasn't faithful in seeking Him to solve the problem of time, He saw the problem and solved it in a very real way.  My parents are flabbergasted.  They continued to work on the house even though we knew that God had done this.  They said they would "believe it when they saw it."  They haven't ever noticed God work in this way before.  I kept telling them that they were wasting their time.  I kept telling them that this is what God has shown us over and over.  Tomorrow.  It will be done tomorrow and maybe then they will see what the Lord can do!

The Lord has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes  Psalm 118:23

Shoes - God's Consistent Provision

It seemed like such a good idea at the time...

Basketball season was coming to a close and it had not gone well.  AT. ALL.  

Track seemed like a great idea, he can really jump!  But.  He's never tried it.  He is completely dedicated to basketball.

When he agreed to try it - just for the season - we were all excited - until...

SHOES!  Ug!  The week before the track meet, we realize he needs track shoes.  Seriously???  Of course he does.  I can't think of a single thing this poor kid does that doesn't require a new pair of shoes.  The week's schedule was already full.  Overflowing, really.  If the shoe store was open 24 hours a day, we might be able to find something.  And, of course, it was too late to order something on-line.  Should I have been more prepared? Sure, if I he had committed to the team or if I had knowledge of the shoe situation, I might have been.  (MIGHT.)

Back story:  14, 13, 12, 6, 4, 3 mos.  Those are the ages of the kids in my house right now.  The baby is a foster baby who is visiting parents, social workers, Doctors and specialists.  The 13 year old is also new to our home and will hopefully be adopted.  She also has visits from social workers, psychiatrists, school counselors, psychologist, doctors, specialists, etc...We regularly have appointments daily.  Usually, more than one a day.  The 12, 6, and 5 year old are home-schooled.

I had no way to get him shoes.  The only possible time I had was the day before the meet.  I looked at shoes and realized that they may cost up to $100!  This used to be enough to derail me, but!  I am learning.  I am learning to trust in Him!  I knew that what needed to be done was beyond what I could control or do.  I couldn't guarantee that the shoes he wanted or needed would be in the stores, that they would have his size, or that we could afford them.  I had no way to control the schedule that was already set before me.  I simply looked for a time and decided I would do my best.  I never really considered what would happen if we didn't find the shoes, but I think I must have just figured that God would have something.  

And then it happened!  I got a text.  "Coach found shoes for me."  When I got to his school  he pulls out a pair of like-new condition - just the right size - perfect style - track shoes!!!  They were still in a box, still in a bag.  They were left in with the track supplies.  No one knew who they belong to and it appeared to all involved that they had been left in the track supplies from last year!  The coach said he was welcome to use them for this season. There is nothing too insignificant for our God, nothing too difficult.  Just when it seems like it can't be done, HE DOES IT!  This just blows me away.

I think God had a special plan for this one.  My son has been struggling to experience God on his own.  He knows how God has provided shoes for him in the past and how God provided boots for Mari.  The fact that he got to experience this provision again, in this way made God feel very close and very real.  I think God was giving him an extra love that day and I got to be part of it too.  It is funny to me how God chooses to repeat things.  Probably just to get my attention.  I think my oldest may want to consider what his feet might be used for, since God is taking very good care of them!!!

"Ah, Sovereign LORD, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you."  Jeremiah 32:17


Just in case you wanted to see how God has ministered to us using shoes in the past....look here and here

Fasting

It has been a while since I took the time to fast. I like to let fasting be "God led," but I also know that I can easily ignore God's prompting if I get too busy.  So, last week I had just the tiniest inclination to fast for the day.  There was no real reason, but there were several small things.  After I had decided to spend that particular day fasting, a friend had asked for prayer.  I felt that it was a confirmation.

As I fasted and prayed throughout the day, my hungry tummy reminded me of the One who is the Provider of all!  As I was laying my burdens before Him and resting in His goodness.  I started to think and ponder the idea of prayer and fasting.  One thing I am sure of:  God is NOT a vending machine.  We do NOT input our requests, do a series of good deeds, and then have our desires met.  I know that the bible often talks of our faith being large enough to get what we want, and that we don't have because we do not ask.  (Matthew 17:20 and James 4:2-3) I am just not up for a theological discussion about this tonight, but I feel pretty safe to say that we are sure to get things we ask for when we ask for them with a faith that is aligned to God's will.  (Probably not for our own selfish desires - although, I have seen those prayers answered too...) 

Why fasting, then???  I was talking to God that day about money.  I had to spend some money on clothes for my little guy and I knew it was going to be expensive.  I knew what he needed and I went into the store with a pretty good idea of what that would all cost (if I was very careful).  When I was done, I spent 1/2 of what I thought.  Because I was fasting and praying about it (I know it might seem like a silly thing to pray about, but I believe there is nothing to small for God to care about) I realized that God did that!  God took care of my little problems, so that I can continue to trust Him for the big ones.  If I hadn't been fasting and praying, I would have missed the blessing of seeing His work in my life. 

Other prayers were answered that day and it seems He called me to fast the next day as well.  Once I set my mind and heart to listening to His leading, it seems I hear it much more clearly.  I don't believe that when I fast, God listens more, but I do believe that when I fast, I listen more!  One day, I am sure God will show me so much more about this system He put in place.  Hopefully, I will be listening!

God Speaks.

Laying in bed, I remember a conversation from a month earlier. I can’t remember the details exactly, not a perfect quote, but I can remember the idea, who was speaking, and the inflections in our voices. When I hear God speak to me, it is a lot like I am recalling an earlier conversation. I “hear” in my mind the memory. The voice of God is a lot like mine and yet different in the pattern of speech, in the inflection, and usually in the content.


In church this week, right before communion, I was praying. I was confession to God my weak faith. My concern about money issues was chief on my mind. [I want to preface the rest that I DO NOT believe that the world is “coming to an end” on May 21.] However…as I was praying, God brought this date to my mind. (I believe God uses common things and things we see everyday to help us understand Him.) So, very much like I was recalling a conversation from the past, I hear God say, “If I do choose to end the world on May 21st, will you have enough money?” My response was, “Oh Yes! We have plenty to live on until May 21st.” And believe it or not, my heart felt a little less burdened right then. Then, God sent His convicting message, “So, what you are saying is that you don’t believe that I will provide for you after May 21st.” Which, now to me, seemed ridiculous and I said, “of course I believe you can provide for me after that.” And He reminded me, “of course I will provide for you…” I felt forgiven of the sin of doubt and reassured of God’s provision.

After all of that, my “feelings” were quite convincing that I had an encounter with God, but I don’t think that it is smart to rely on feelings. I think it would be too easy for the enemy of our souls to use our feelings to trick us. That Sunday’s sermon was about stepping out in our faith and living a more exciting and full life through Christ. There would have been NO WAY to predict that the pastor (who is not of the denomination or of the belief in the May 21st “end” date) would bring that up. NO WAY!!! But, as has happened in many instances of God speaking to me, somehow he brought the “conversation” that had happened in my head out through the mouth of the pastor and that is my reassurance that God has spoken. Pastor said (after making sure we understood the bad theology behind that date), “what if the world was ending in 20 days…how would that affect the way you lived your life?”

So, before the sermon started, as I was praying, God spoke to me in a very real, convincing, calming, reassuring, forgiving way and then to reinforce that, He spoke again through the pastor using the same reference and words he had said to me, only about 15 minutes later. And, of course God wouldn’t speak anything in contradiction to His word. God speaks. I know He is speaking and the only reason I don’t hear Him is that I choose not to listen.

I realize how important it was for me to be in church that day. It is so important to hear confirming words when we hear God; and one of the ways we can do that is by attending Church and meeting with other believers. If I had not been in church on Sunday, I would have missed this perfect message from God and spent so much time worrying unnecessarily. I would have missed hearing His voice, and let me tell you, His voice is like a drug…once you have heard from Him, you never want to hear anything else. It reminds me of Hebrews 10:23-25: Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

More Blessed Feet.

Mari loves Jessie the Cowgirl.  She carries her Jessie doll everywhere, and anything remotely related to Jessie stops Mari in her tracks.  She got a pair of red "Jessie" boots for her birthday in August and LOVES them but they just don't "go" with everything.

Last year she had a pair of very cute warm boots that went well with most things, both dressy and casual.  She also loves those boots because she thinks they are also "Jessie" boots.  I don't bother arguing.  They are 2 sizes too small this year, though. 

In the midst of all the chaos of moving, I thought that I would keep an eye out for another pair of boots.  Unfortunately, this opportunity has only come along one time which left Mari wearing her 2-sizes-too-small boots.  I don't bother arguing.

See the boots by the bed?

After church last week, a sweet friend told me that she had just gone through her kids' closets and she had clothes for my 2 little guys.  I love love love hand-me-downs.  UNBELIEVABLY!  There were TWO pair of boots that were very similar to the boots I was trying to find!  How awesome is that! 

First, I am noticing a theme with the shoes and how cool is our God to do that!!!  I have to laugh when I think about God in the sense of WHO He is.  He is so obviously the provider of all that we have, but when he provides in such a way that it becomes a theme, you gotta know that I think of HIM as someone I would LOVE just hanging out with!  Did she need TWO pair?  NOPE.  Did God provide again abundantly?  YUP!  It literally makes me giddy to think about it.  OH, in case you have no idea what I am talking about, God just provided a pair of shoes for another one of my kids and I wrote about it here. 

I can't help but think of a verse I memorized a long long time ago:  Who am I and who are my people that we are able to offer as generously as this?  For all things come from You and from Your hand we have given you.  1 Chronicles 29:14

The Shoe Box - Memorial Box Monday

Memorial Box Monday is coming a few hours early around this place.  We are packing up and I don't know if I will get to my computer tomorrow and this is just too fun not to post!

David's piano recital was today.  The dress code is:  Nice slacks, button-up shirt with a collar, and dress shoes.  Basically, business-casual for kids.  The problem:  My son is 13.  When he was 5, he had 3 different suits, ties, and dress shoes in black and brown.  He looked so handsome!  Now he wears jeans.  Even to church.  To enhance the problem:  we are moving.  This is a two-fold issue.  First, I don't have time to shop.  Second, I don't have money to shop.  (and truthfully, if I did have money, I wouldn't want to buy something he is only going to wear one time.  That seems very wasteful.)

David with Katie at about 7 years old

I found a pair of cords and a button up shirt that were handed down to him and still hanging in his closet.  By God's grace alone, they fit.  The only problem I still had were his shoes.  I felt really bad because the instructions were explicit about NO TENNIS SHOES.  But, I couldn't justify the expense. 

After church today, I stopped to tell a friend I had been praying for her and her family.  I have been praying for her a lot and she didn't know it, so I wanted to make sure I told her.  She said she had been driving around with a box of clothes to hand down to us for weeks and was glad she saw me...In the bag were a pair of dress shoes in the PERFECT size!  (That was a miracle in itself.)  They were exactly the size David wears!  How awesome is that! 

It's the little things.  God cares for each and every little thing.  As I seek to please HIM with my behavior, spending etc...He rewards me with His provision.  I was at that "last minute."  I couldn't have changed my mind, and he provided.  And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Matthew 6:28. 

Paper Chase - a slightly different tale

While pursuing adoption, one of the first steps is the Paper Chase.  This is the period of time when the dreaded forms are filled out, reconsidered, filled out again, and then turned in, lost and then resubmitted.  It takes awhile.  If you are pursuing an international adoption, this part can be a nightmare if you are pursuing a domestic adoption, this part is merely a bad dream.

I am not going to talk about that type of paper chase.  Our next adoption is starting with a different kind of paper chase...News paper.  I bet you didn't guess that one!  Since this is "Memorial Box Monday," I thought I should share about God's recent and wonderful provision. 

As I began packing boxes for The Move, (it seems that I mention it enough that I should give it a formal title) I began receiving the daily paper.  I didn't order a subscription.  It just showed up wrapped in a thin rubber band on my front porch, daily.  At first, I started for the recycling bin thinking, "One more thing in the house while I am trying to pack."  When I realized, WAIT!  I need newspaper to pack!  I piled that newspaper right up in a corner and have been using it since.  I have yet to run out.  That newspaper shows up everyday wrapped in the thin rubber band, unless it is raining - when it comes in a thin yellow plastic sheath.  One day I was close to running out and my neighbor and my mom made a donation to my dwindling paper supply, but I have yet to actually need more.  Does this remind anyone but me about the Israelites and the manna???

Reflecting on this, I realize that I wouldn't have had to worry about packing paper.  Worst case scenario, I may have had to go to my neighbors and ask for their old papers or I may have had to go to the actual paper and ask for old papers.  I don't think I would have had to spend any money no matter what.  But, what was so special about this was that God provided even though it would have only cost me energy.  God provided just to show me He was there.  For all who would question this...I don't know the paper boy.  This started before our house was listed for rent and before there was a sign in the yard.  This started before any of our neighbors knew we were moving.  I am also pretty sure the paper boy isn't one of the 3 people (including me) who read this blog.  Oh yeah, I didn't order a subscription.  I am pretty sure that is usually the only way of getting a paper delivered to your home regularly in any ordinary circumstances. 

So, do I trust God?  If He is going to choose to make sure I have packing paper for our move, why wouldn't He take care of the other concerns that might come up?  Of course I trust Him!  I am so thankful that He chooses to show Himself to me.  Why He makes that choice is amazing to me, but I am sure glad He does!!!  I can't wait to see how He continues to provide when I officially start the other Paper Chase!

13 Blessings

One of the reasons I am keeping this blog is that I want to remember and praise God for the good works He does in my life no matter how insignificant or great.  I want to remember to give HIM glory for the blessings and provisions.  I want to remember to teach my children to rely on HIM for their needs. 

Friday, I was excitedly making dinners for the weeks ahead, feeling like I was finally on track with being a good steward of my time and money.  Because I didn't properly prepare for the two weeks leading up to this day, we had been wasting a lot of money by eating out.  I made Pork Chops and a Chicken dish.  They both cook at the same temperature, but the pork chops have a shorter cook time.  I was preparing another meal when I heard a zzzttt sound.  When I turned around, I saw small flames in the back of the oven.  This happened to be my day of fasting, and when I saw the fire, my first thought was to get the kids out of the house and I worried because Mari was napping.  The very next thought I had was peace.  I knew it was going to be fine.  I turned off the oven and prayed that the smoke didn't ruin the food.  I waited until the fire was gone and then waited for the very small amount of smoke to clear, then I opened the oven door.  The Pork Chops were done!  The chicken wasn't done and I started to worry that I would have to throw it away.  Then, I remembered our gas barbeque.  I quickly called Kevin to make sure I didn't have to do anything to prevent the oven from catching on fire again and to ask about the best way to bake in the barbeque and then got to it.  About a half hour later, the chicken was done as well!  The barbeque worked amazingly.

I was so thankful that all my hard work was not wasted.  I had one more task at hand, though , and I had accidentally burned my finger pretty badly when I pulled the pan out of the barbeque.  Thankfully, at that moment, my mom stopped by and finished up for me.  I just had to cut some meat to get into the freezer before it spoiled, but that job would have been really painful to do with my burned finger. 

So, now I have a broken oven and a burned finger.  It doesn't sound great, but I was praising the Lord.  I was so excited that He would have this happen at this time!  Kevin and I had just been talking about what to do with the kitchen if we move.  It has worked well for us, but it wasn't exactly what most people would want, and if we left it how it was, it would have made the house less desirable as a rental property.  (Which is what we plan to do with it if we move.)  So, we knew we needed to do something.  The oven was (at one time) a double wall oven.  When we moved in, the upper oven was missing so we put a broken microwave there to fill in the space and we used it as storage for dry goods.  The lower oven was the oven we used.  Also, the range top has been broken for years and the back burner is really the only one that works well.  As I said, it worked for us, but not everyone would call this the ideal kitchen.

We spent much of Sat. looking for a new oven and a better way to arrange the space.  I really didn't want to go too long without an oven, but knew it wasn't too much of a rush because I just cooked a bunch of meals!  The trouble was that our oven seemed to be a weird size.  We measured, called, remeasured, had other people measure, looked at instruction manuals, etc.  Finally we came to the conclusion that we were going to have to rebuild the cabinet. (NOT something Kevin feels confident doing.)  We found double ovens on craigslist and then we were blessed to find double ovens AND a range top for a third of what new double ovens would cost!  We picked them up Sunday afternoon and Kevin had them installed by Sunday night.  The best part (like all that isn't good enough)?  They fit perfectly!  Absolutely perfectly.  (And no, they are not the same ovens - not even the same brand!!!)  What an amazing blessing!  I am so thankful that God just saw us perfectly through all of this.  The ovens look great, I LOVE having two ovens. (I feel so spoiled.) And they were super cheap!  The only bummer is that I have cooked all of our meals for the next week or so, so I have no reason to use them!!!  HA!  Only God!  I did dig out a package of brownie mix last night.  I just couldn't resist.

Let's count the blessings:
1.  Was fasting and praying
2.  Was trying to follow God's will in being a good steward of my resources
3.  The food was cooked
4.  The food that wasn't cooked was able to be cooked on the barbeque
5.  My mom stopped by just at the right time to help me finish
6.  The fire was uneventful
7.  The food didn't get ruined by the smoke at all.
8.  The answer to "what to do with this kitchen" was crystal clear.
9.  Due to the size of everything, including our kitchen, without a major remodel, there was only one option
10.  We were able to find the ovens for about 1/3 of what it would cost new plus we got a range as well!
11.  They fit perfectly - even though every measurement and cut-out guide said they wouldn't
12.  We were not in a hurry because food was already made.
13.  Kevin is able to install these things willingly.

Just a note...as I was "counting" these blessings, I realized that I came up with 13.  Funny, because all of this happened on Friday, August 13th.  I love to see the way God shows Himself in every little detail.  He is so good to me! A passage from Ezekiel, repeated over and over again:  Then they will know that I am the LORD.  36:38

Praise God!  You are the Lord.  You make it known, over and over again.  Thank you for providing the small and great blessings.  In Jesus' name I pray!  Amen!

He said to me today, "I was thinking. What if you told me, that you needed to go to Afr*ca and open an orphanage? What would I do. I know what I would do. I would get busy selling everything we own so we could go."

That was amazing. Although, I am pretty sure I am not called to open an orphanage, I know I am called to make a difference. How I am supposed to do that right now, I am not sure. I know that God called His disciples first to the hurting, outcast, poor, etc. I know that I am supposed to be where people need people the most. I pray that God makes our path very clear. For now, I am focused on the things He has given me to do here. Maybe if I am faithful with those things, I will be blessed with another assignment! Oh PLEASE!!!

I want to share a "God moment" in my life from a few years ago...

We were on our way to Sacramento. I don't remember why now, but I know we were an hour late. I hate being late, so I was focused on getting there. BUT! Up in the sky, I saw "Something shiny" it looked a lot like Mylar balloons, but there were tons of them moving in and out in a bird-like pattern. (It could have been birds?) The spectacle was so unusual, that even though I was an hour late, I pulled off the freeway so that I could get a better look. By the time I got off the freeway and looked up again, they were gone. I kept looking for a minute, wondering if they were behind a cloud or something, but I never found them again. As I gave up looking, I noticed that the freeway had come to a complete stop. No one was moving. I turned on the radio to see if I could get an idea of why...maybe the consistent road construction. NOPE!!! There was a huge pile-up with big-rigs involved. We would have been RIGHT in the middle of it. And I mean RIGHT THERE. There would have been no way of avoiding getting hit in that accident. The only reason we weren't there was because I stopped to look at something shiny.

People tease me to this day because I get easily distracted. I notice the "shiny" things in life and I like it that way. Sometimes, I would feel bad about myself because of this. Now, I realize that God made me this way. He uses it for HIS glory and he used it to save my (and my kids) life. What an awesome God we serve! I also used to joke about needing God to "write it in the sky" if he wants my attention. I guess He was happy to oblige. Now when someone teases me and says, "Look, something shiny!" I think, "Yep. That might just be God sayin' hi."

After that miracle, I got on my cell phone right away. First, to find an alternate route. (I was still an hour late...) Then, to tell everyone I knew about this fantastic miracle. I could hear the doubt in their voices, but how can you deny this? It was too big. Too awe inspiring. How eager is our God to meet us just where we need him. How obvious is it that I am more important than the birds of the air or the flowers or the trees!!! I have a God who has great plans for me and is moving the sky to get me there!!