Big Picture

Fighting, war, combat, conflict, battle, strategy.  These are the things in our life.  Sometimes the battle is upfront and visible, sometimes we are battling the unseen powers of darkness.  For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.  Ephesians 6:12 

Is it any wonder that my kids are acting up?  Is it any wonder that I am getting distracted.  The enemy of our souls isn't dumb.  He didn't just come into this world.  His practices have been around for generations!  It isn't any wonder that he finds our weakness.  As we battle for the orphans, for our family and for others in the process, it is no wonder that we are coming under attack.  We MUST be doing something RIGHT!

Two battles are in progress.  The battles will be won, but we have to keep an eternal focus.  First:  The battle for the hearts of my kids.  They are struggling and hurting with the loss of the baby.  They don't want to continue on this painful journey and experience that pain again, but they can't help the pull they feel toward bringing in another orphan who has nothing and no one.  They have a desire to bring another brother or sister to Christ.  So, although it is painful and although it is scary, they persevere in the adoption process along with us.  Their behavior is hard sometimes for all of us, but it is their way of working through it.  I need to remember that.  The second battle is the one that is the toughest for me:  Control.  With the loss of little Mattie, my heart aches.  Oh how I loved having a baby again!  I love her, and I am glad she is not an orphan, but I miss having a little baby.  The chances of us being placed with a baby are so slim.  I realize that we might not get the privilege of having another one.  BUT!  I have resolved a health issue that may have kept me from being able to carry a baby to term.  I know I am able to have a baby and I am pretty confident that I could have another biological child.  If I have any problems, I am very confident that medical intervention would solve that problem.  I am sure this is a very powerful distraction from my enemy.  He would love to use the resources I have to chase after a biological baby instead of bringing in a child who needs care now.  He would love for me to ignore the kids that are dying.  This post is NOT for everyone.  This is only what God has in MY life.  I am confident that we were done having biological children.  I am confident that was from God.  Babies were not even something I was seeking until Mattie came along.  I have to keep my eyes focused on the eternal mission God has given me.  The mission of bringing in orphans and giving them a family.  I am praying, just in case God has another plan for me, but for now, I believe we are on the right track.

The battle will be won.  The eternal focus will help me battle the struggles in my heart, but God's power will do the rest.  I lay it all before Him, relying on Him to win it for me.  I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. Ephesians 1:18-21