Just the Beginning

It is only the beginning and already I am starting to falter. How weak is my faith? How little do I trust the One who gives me the work? Why is it that only one day later, after God revealed in such a fun way the provisions He is capable of, that I become disheartened?

I started to count the cost. I am getting excited, thinking about time lines, wondering what is next. Perhaps I should be resting in Him, waiting on Him, relying on Him. I got out my paper and pencil and drew up the "plans" for the addition. I scoured the Internet in search of programs that would take us to Uganda. I talked with my over-worked, over-tired husband, who had to work until midnight tonight just so he could take part of tomorrow off and he was less supportive. He worried about the money. He worried about the long hours he keeps just to make ends meet. He didn't have the energy for this burden tonight and he didn't need to have it, except that I was busy making plans.

Oh, to let the Lord make the plans. He keeps our paths straight. He gives and takes away. Why do I always need to interfere. I get excited. I pray God sees my heart and my passion so that He can overlook my interference. I let myself get discouraged. I let my heart become full of doubt. I searched the Bible for the reference to 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." It reminds me that this is a long process, like a marathon. I have to fight the good fight, keep the faith, in order to win. BUT! In looking for that scripture, God brought another to me that I think was even more helpful: Galatians 5:7 "You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?"

Wow. Praise God for that verse! Who indeed is trying to cut in on us and keep us from obeying the truth? I will not allow that. I will obey, and I will trust because I know that through this, I am only becoming stronger through God. I am only able to do even more than I ever imagined through HIM! The encouraging verse for today? Romans 5:3-5 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."