Whose Fault Is It?
One of the many jobs I do in a day is referee. My kids are always willing to take responsibility for the good stuff. "Look Mommy." But, the bad stuff, is easy put off on someone else. Recently, my youngest has started lying, very sad.
I am recognizing a parallel with my condition, though. I am eager to get excited when I "work" for the Lord. I think: I am hosting a small group, teaching Sunday School, or Preparing for a Yard Sale. I know I get an eternal blessing for choosing Him now and working toward spreading His message, but the reality is, I get a blessing now too. I love hosting a small group, because the people who come are my friends. I love teaching Sunday School because I believe God has given me a gift for that and when I don't do it, I feel very restless. I am blessed each Sunday that I teach. I also get a blessing from helping with the Yard Sale because I love the people that I am working with and I am excited to see the children who are getting a forever family because of it. These rewards I get now. I am thankful.
However. What about the bad stuff? What about when I hear someone died of malnutrition? What about when I hear that someone went to bed hungry? What about when I hear about the kids who are raised without a mom and a dad? I am not so eager to claim the responsibility for that. I globalize it. I am quick to blame the person directly involved in that situation. I don't want to recognize my fault in it. I am well fed. I threw away about a pound of ground turkey today because we didn't eat it. I also threw away 2 baskets of strawberries that had gone bad. If I have enough to throw in the trash, how is it that I am not responsible for feeding someone who is hungry? Jesus said, whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me. If I believe that, then I have let Jesus go to bed hungry, alone, sick, cold. I have let Him die of hunger or malnutrition. How can I claim to follow Him if I sit in my cozy home with so much food that I am throwing it away?
I am a little bummed tonight. Hubby has been working extra hard on lots of transactions and I was looking forward to a huge reward (pay) for him. I knew it would energize him. He has a tough job sometimes. Deals are falling apart and things aren't working like we thought they would. I was envisioning the wonderful things that money could do...room for many more kids??? Although, I know - He has proved it time and time again - that God will provide for all of our needs and then some, I was eager. I think that might be the problem. It isn't time. I prayed for a larger house and God said, "When you need a bigger house, I will give you one." I believe Him completely. I am probably getting ahead of myself (actually God) again. I am just so eager to bring in the children He has for our family so that they can have a mom and dad. I realize it isn't time. I haven't even been praying about it. My heart, though has been broken for the orphans and NOW THAT I HAVE SEEN, I AM RESPONSIBLE. FAITH WITHOUT DEEDS IS DEAD.
My prayer now is that God will continue this work in me and not let me stray to the right or to the left. Not let me return to who I was, but to continue to passionately pursue HIM! Please, Lord. Keep my eyes focused on you. Let me turn away from the things of this world so that your light is all I see. Let me take responsibility and work towards caring for You through Your people. In Jesus' NAME!
OH! Special little note: This morning, I woke with a toothache. OUCH! It was throbbing like crazy, keeping me awake. I have had a hard time with dental visits. The first time I had a deep filling, I had to be on Vicodin. I might need to get a root canal. Except: Thursday is Emilio's birthday, tomorrow I have 4 birthdays and a Graduation, Friday is a get-together for Emilio's birthday, Saturday is the Yard Sale for the adoption ministry, and next week, I teach VBS. I can't have a root canal right now. I prayed. "God, Please take the pain away." No sooner had I prayed those words, laying all I have before the Lord, that my pain was gone. My tooth is still bugging me a little bit now, but not nearly like it was this morning. I am going to keep asking the Lord to keep the pain away until I can get to the dentist to get it fixed. God is so good!!! How awesome is HE? I have had the experience of Him healing me beyond medical understanding in the past (also doing that for David) but those stories are for another time. This time, I am thankful for my tooth. PRAISE GOD!!!
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