More Blessed Feet.

Mari loves Jessie the Cowgirl.  She carries her Jessie doll everywhere, and anything remotely related to Jessie stops Mari in her tracks.  She got a pair of red "Jessie" boots for her birthday in August and LOVES them but they just don't "go" with everything.

Last year she had a pair of very cute warm boots that went well with most things, both dressy and casual.  She also loves those boots because she thinks they are also "Jessie" boots.  I don't bother arguing.  They are 2 sizes too small this year, though. 

In the midst of all the chaos of moving, I thought that I would keep an eye out for another pair of boots.  Unfortunately, this opportunity has only come along one time which left Mari wearing her 2-sizes-too-small boots.  I don't bother arguing.

See the boots by the bed?

After church last week, a sweet friend told me that she had just gone through her kids' closets and she had clothes for my 2 little guys.  I love love love hand-me-downs.  UNBELIEVABLY!  There were TWO pair of boots that were very similar to the boots I was trying to find!  How awesome is that! 

First, I am noticing a theme with the shoes and how cool is our God to do that!!!  I have to laugh when I think about God in the sense of WHO He is.  He is so obviously the provider of all that we have, but when he provides in such a way that it becomes a theme, you gotta know that I think of HIM as someone I would LOVE just hanging out with!  Did she need TWO pair?  NOPE.  Did God provide again abundantly?  YUP!  It literally makes me giddy to think about it.  OH, in case you have no idea what I am talking about, God just provided a pair of shoes for another one of my kids and I wrote about it here. 

I can't help but think of a verse I memorized a long long time ago:  Who am I and who are my people that we are able to offer as generously as this?  For all things come from You and from Your hand we have given you.  1 Chronicles 29:14

The Shoe Box - Memorial Box Monday

Memorial Box Monday is coming a few hours early around this place.  We are packing up and I don't know if I will get to my computer tomorrow and this is just too fun not to post!

David's piano recital was today.  The dress code is:  Nice slacks, button-up shirt with a collar, and dress shoes.  Basically, business-casual for kids.  The problem:  My son is 13.  When he was 5, he had 3 different suits, ties, and dress shoes in black and brown.  He looked so handsome!  Now he wears jeans.  Even to church.  To enhance the problem:  we are moving.  This is a two-fold issue.  First, I don't have time to shop.  Second, I don't have money to shop.  (and truthfully, if I did have money, I wouldn't want to buy something he is only going to wear one time.  That seems very wasteful.)

David with Katie at about 7 years old

I found a pair of cords and a button up shirt that were handed down to him and still hanging in his closet.  By God's grace alone, they fit.  The only problem I still had were his shoes.  I felt really bad because the instructions were explicit about NO TENNIS SHOES.  But, I couldn't justify the expense. 

After church today, I stopped to tell a friend I had been praying for her and her family.  I have been praying for her a lot and she didn't know it, so I wanted to make sure I told her.  She said she had been driving around with a box of clothes to hand down to us for weeks and was glad she saw me...In the bag were a pair of dress shoes in the PERFECT size!  (That was a miracle in itself.)  They were exactly the size David wears!  How awesome is that! 

It's the little things.  God cares for each and every little thing.  As I seek to please HIM with my behavior, spending etc...He rewards me with His provision.  I was at that "last minute."  I couldn't have changed my mind, and he provided.  And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Matthew 6:28. 

Paper Chase - a slightly different tale

While pursuing adoption, one of the first steps is the Paper Chase.  This is the period of time when the dreaded forms are filled out, reconsidered, filled out again, and then turned in, lost and then resubmitted.  It takes awhile.  If you are pursuing an international adoption, this part can be a nightmare if you are pursuing a domestic adoption, this part is merely a bad dream.

I am not going to talk about that type of paper chase.  Our next adoption is starting with a different kind of paper chase...News paper.  I bet you didn't guess that one!  Since this is "Memorial Box Monday," I thought I should share about God's recent and wonderful provision. 

As I began packing boxes for The Move, (it seems that I mention it enough that I should give it a formal title) I began receiving the daily paper.  I didn't order a subscription.  It just showed up wrapped in a thin rubber band on my front porch, daily.  At first, I started for the recycling bin thinking, "One more thing in the house while I am trying to pack."  When I realized, WAIT!  I need newspaper to pack!  I piled that newspaper right up in a corner and have been using it since.  I have yet to run out.  That newspaper shows up everyday wrapped in the thin rubber band, unless it is raining - when it comes in a thin yellow plastic sheath.  One day I was close to running out and my neighbor and my mom made a donation to my dwindling paper supply, but I have yet to actually need more.  Does this remind anyone but me about the Israelites and the manna???

Reflecting on this, I realize that I wouldn't have had to worry about packing paper.  Worst case scenario, I may have had to go to my neighbors and ask for their old papers or I may have had to go to the actual paper and ask for old papers.  I don't think I would have had to spend any money no matter what.  But, what was so special about this was that God provided even though it would have only cost me energy.  God provided just to show me He was there.  For all who would question this...I don't know the paper boy.  This started before our house was listed for rent and before there was a sign in the yard.  This started before any of our neighbors knew we were moving.  I am also pretty sure the paper boy isn't one of the 3 people (including me) who read this blog.  Oh yeah, I didn't order a subscription.  I am pretty sure that is usually the only way of getting a paper delivered to your home regularly in any ordinary circumstances. 

So, do I trust God?  If He is going to choose to make sure I have packing paper for our move, why wouldn't He take care of the other concerns that might come up?  Of course I trust Him!  I am so thankful that He chooses to show Himself to me.  Why He makes that choice is amazing to me, but I am sure glad He does!!!  I can't wait to see how He continues to provide when I officially start the other Paper Chase!

Out of Laodicea

While God was preparing Revelations for the churches, He was also preparing a message for us. I have heard a number of sermons on the letter to the church of Laodicea. Each sermon makes a clear connection between that church and the church of the United States, particularly the church of the “rich.” Revelations 3:15-17 “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are luke-warm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked.” Yup. We are blind, naked, wretched, pitiful, poor, and can I add: asleep. Twice in Proverbs God warns us about “sleeping” Proverbs 24:33 and Proverbs 6:10 both say: “A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest and poverty will come upon you like a poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.” God has shown me the connection to staying spiritually awake!




I beg God to keep me spiritually awake. It is sometimes way too easy to nod off in our culture. Another great example from scripture is also in Proverbs: Proverbs 30:8-9 “Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say, ‘Who is the Lord?’ Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.”



If I am really to draw a parallel between falling asleep in the spirit and being like the church of Laodicea, I have to realize that the solution is to stay awake. But staying awake is very uncomfortable. And one thing I realized is that I don’t like being uncomfortable. In fact, if I really examine my response to the prayer in Proverbs 30, I actually would rather have “too much.” YIKES! That is a scary place to be. Ahhh, too much and I get comfortable, I rely on myself, I forget about God, and I go. To. Sleep…



NO! Stay awake! In the garden at Gethsemane, Jesus BEGGED his disciples to STAY AWAKE! No caffeine pills there. But this is a different type of awake. To stay awake, I am trying to do what God has for me even if it seems uncomfortable.  Actually, especially if it seems uncomfortable!  Sooooo, the move is on! We are off to a new city in a few days. And we have already taken the first step in the next adoption process.  We are wasting no time bringing more kids home. One thing that all parents can attest to is that kids keep you AWAKE!



Another section of scripture that was brought to my attention was the battle of Joshua. As they prepared to enter the promise land, they had Passover and then they ate from the fruit of the land and that was the end of the manna. 2 things crossed my mind as I was reading about this: 1. God expects us to work. When work can be done, we need to get out the hoe and do it. 2. God’s provision is there when we need it, but it won’t be there if we rely only on our own strength and provision. Wow.



God made all things. Why then do I get comfortable with my own provision, focus on my own resources, and then fall asleep? Why after the clear lessons here would I allow myself to do that? Easy: It is EASY! Staying awake is HARD and uncomfortable at times. But the rewards are huge! Here is the promise: Revelations 3:19-21 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am ! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and him with me. To him who over comes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne just as I over came and sat down with my Father on his throne.



Francis Chan reminded me in a sermon this week about what that throne looks like: There was a sea of glass as clear as crystal; creatures singing, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty who was, and is, and is to come.” There were elders in white robes with golden crowns…etc. And we can sit there. An honored guest. Witness to all of this! It is ours if we “overcome.”



Please God. Please keep me awake. Please stop me from becoming to content so that I don’t forget you. Please keep me in your power so that I don’t become afraid. Let me look to you as my Rock, my Fortress, and my hiding place. Thank you Lord for the promises that are true. Amen.

Memorial Box Monday

A letter about answered prayer I wrote to my "friend" Linny (who I have mentioned before - here -)

Hi Linny,

I am so thankful that you have been calling these “corporate” days of fasting and praying!!! God is so good and is so faithful to answer the prayers of his people! I have been able to participate with everyone and it is so awesome and amazing. This last time, I asked for prayer. I wanted to post an answer right away, but I didn’t want to post until the answer was complete. Now, I am not sure where to put this, so I am sending it to you. Maybe it is only meant for your eyes, but I am so giddy with excitement!

My prayer request was for our purchase of our new home. We are “legally” maxed out in this home. We want a HUGE family, (We have 4. 2 bio kids and 2 adopted through foster care.) We think God has 2 to 4 more through foster care and then a bunch of kids around the world. We hope at least 2 in Uganda. So…our small house wouldn’t cut it. There were so many things that had to fall into place, that I thought there would be no way we would get this home. Another email, I will tell you how great this specific house would be and how it came in right under budget! Anyway, my friend Leah had posted an email asking for prayer for our adoption ministry. She got an awesome answer to her prayer and stopped at my house to share and we jumped for joy! (You posted her answer.) I walked into my house after hearing that news and found my husband telling me that one of the major hurdles to the new home was CLEARED!!! I wanted to post then, but we had one more big one to go. That big hurdle was cleared yesterday!! It looks like we have a move date of Mid November! Woo Hoo!!! God is so amazing! I finally feel I can share. BUT! It is so awesome that the very day after our day of prayer, the very moment after I learned of a wonderful answer to an important request made by my friend, God would also give an answer to me and then follow it through to completion! I am looking forward to starting the homestudy as soon as we move! Talk about Yipee Jesus!

THANK YOU so much for listening so carefully to God’s voice and following through! I sure hope you are as encouraged and excited as I am. (Oh and also, I have to meet you in person one of these days because when I refer to “my friend, Linny” people look at me funny.

Love to you!

Sandi

Psalm 121

We walked through the lanes of "Fright Fest" at Discovery Kingdom this weekend.  Not on purpose.  We went for a cheerleading competition and the fact that "Fright Fest" existed was not on my radar.  As we navigated through the park, avoiding the scariest routes, my little guy noticed some frightful decorations and displays.  Passing us to get to the performance areas were more costume wearing "zombies."  The festivities honored the name.  It was repulsive to me, but very frightening for my littlest two, especially Emilio.

As we walked, I was diligently previewing the upcoming visual displays being sure to distract Emilio as often as possible.  There were times, however that there was simply no where to look except at Kevin, his dad.  I would say to him, "Emilio, just look at your dad.  Keep your eyes focused on him and you won't even see the scary stuff.  Just don't look anywhere but at your daddy."  Emilio did.  He watched his dad like crazy and when he looked away, he quickly covered his eyes and refocused them back on Kevin.  When he was looking at Kevin he felt happy and safe but as soon as he turned to look away, he was scared.

Everyday God uses these precious treasures to teach me just what God wants me to know.  Of course, the common theme lately:  The Move.  I am scared.  I am also scared about having a big family, about adopting again, etc.  So, where do my eyes need to be focused?  On my Heavenly Daddy.  If I keep my eyes there, not look to the "left or the right" I will not be afraid.  I can feel happy and safe and satisfied.  If I allow myself to glance around.  I will be scared.  God asks me to keep my eyes on Him.  I am so thankful!  Psalm 121:1-2 I lift up my eyes to the hills—where does my help come from?  My help comes from the LORD the Maker of heaven and earth.

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As we get closer to the move and to what we believe is God's will for our lives, I am frightened.  I worry about everything.  I know how hard it is when new kids come into our home.  I know it will be a challenge for all of us.  Unfortunately, (or so I thought) everywhere I turn these days, God is showing me that His path isn't always easy.  In fact, it can be down right painful. 

As of last Sunday, the message of "difficulty" was brought to my attention 3 times.  Then, I read Katie's blog and realized that she also gets discouraged sometimes.  After that, in my own studies, I read about Paul in Acts 21:10-14  After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea.  coming over to us, he took Paul's belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, "the Holy Spirit says, 'In this way the Jews of Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and  will hand him over to the Gentiles."  When we heard this, we and the people other pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem.  Then Paul answered, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart?  I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus."  When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, "The Lord's will be done."

I prayed.  Please LORD!  Give me the strength of Paul.  How do I knowingly walk into danger and still embrace it?

The "funny" thing is that I know I am not entering into any sort of "danger" but I have no illusions as to the difficulty of my journey.  When I allow the fear to enter my thoughts, though I am hesitant to take the next step.  Then God showed me that it isn't MY courage that I will need.  I won't need courage at all.  I will be compelled.  Like I found in Jeremiah 20:9  But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name, his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.  I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."

God is answering my prayer for courage, first by showing me in scripture that His will is compelling, but also through the book "A Million Miles in a Thousand years" by Donald Miller.  He writes:  "...and once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can't go back to being normal;  you can't go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time."  and then, talking about when things get tough..."I think this is when most people give up on their stories.  They come out of college wanting to change the world, wanting to get married, wanting to have kids and change the way people buy office supplies, but they get into the middle and discover it was harder than they thought.  They take it out on their spouses and they go looking for an easier story."

As I have come to the conclusions:  It will be hard.  I am compelled.  I was still left with the wonder of how to proceed, not quit, through the tough times.  God gave me Francis Chan.  I am so thankful for God's provision of shepherds to help me find His way.  God showed me through Francis' sermon the last link that I was missing.  This is "GOD'S PARTY."  I am NOT inviting God to join me, but God is inviting me to join Him.  God showed me:  Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."  (Mathew 28:19)  It is the God who made the world, who hung the stars, who creates the "supernatural" events that leaves people in wonder.  What do I have to fear if He is with me...better yet, I am with Him!  It is His party, I am just a guest.  One of the last chapters in Donald Miller's book was titled, "A Tree in a Story about a Forest."  That was a great reminder.  I am just a tree.  God's story is about the whole forrest and that story is way more interesting. 

My prayer now is:  Thank you Lord for letting me be that tree in this story.  Help me remember that YOU are the one in control of all things.  To Jesus, You have given power and authority over everything - that there is nothing left out.  If I believe this is true then there is nothing I have to fear.  Praise You Lord that I can be invited to Your party.  That I can watch Your majesty unfold in the world.  I pray that when I am weak, You will refocus my attention back to You so that I won't quit and look for an easier story to belong in.  Through Jesus' authority, I pray.  AMEN

Loaves and Fishes and 3 Staples Boxes

1200 square feet, 6 people, 3 dogs, 1 homeschool, 1 dad who works from home...the house gets a little crowded sometimes.  I have been purging.  First the yard sale at church to raise money for the adoption ministry, second the yard sale at a friends to raise money for Amazima ministry.  Finally, I thought I was done.

Since Leah, her daughter, Katie (my daughter) and I are traveling soon to help with a fund raiser for Amazima ministry, we thought it would be nice if we could bring a gift.  The first fund-raising yard sale was a success, so I wanted to do it again.  I cleaned out what was left of my house and could only come up with 2 boxes of "stuff."  We have really gotten down to only owning stuff we are using now, nothing extra (or very little extra) and even that still fills this little house quickly.  I rummaged through the pantry, the cupboards, and closets and found enough to fill a third box.  I told Leah, "I don't really think I have enough stuff for another yard sale, but I will see if any of my friends have anything to donate."  I put the message out on Facebook.

I cleared a corner of my living room since our garage has the car, the drum set, and the bikes...too full for yard sale stuff...and put my 3 boxes there.  A few days before the scheduled sale, 3 people with pick-up trucks full of stuff came and dropped their stuff off.  (My living room was getting a little full.  We could no longer walk freely through it!)  I packed things in as tightly as I could.  THEN!  I got a call from my oldest son who was on a walk.  He had found a "free" dresser that was in good condition.  It had a broken drawer, but otherwise, it was nice.  Kevin and David fixed the drawer and we added that to the living room pile.  We had another call, and the stuff now had to be piled on the front porch.

My friend asked if I had put an ad in the paper, and I said no because I was worried about wasting the money since I didn't know how much we would earn.  I was really worried the morning of the yard sale that I had made a big mistake by not putting in the ad.  I had put it on Craigslist, but not the paper.  My fears were relieved when at 6:30 am we had a line of people waiting. 

The stuff was selling even as I was unpacking it.  It sold before I had even seen it or knew what it was.  We raised about 600 dollars!  The free dresser sold for $25! 

I was contemplating how sometimes we work so hard, pinch every penny and it still doesn't seem like enough.  I was reading in Haggai and came across this verse:  You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little.  What you brought home, I blew away.  Why?" declares the Lord Almighty.  "Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with his own house."  (Vs. 1:9)  I see that as we focus on ourselves, we only earn what we "control" - which is nothing.  Sometimes we might have a blessing, but really, without focusing on the eternal it is garbage.  I have had yard sales before that made very little money.

I had 3 boxes (small.  Staples boxes.)  We made $600!  I have to think, God was in this.  This was for His kingdom.  This was for His house!  It reminded so much of the "Loaves and Fishes" story in John. Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, spoke up, "Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?" Jesus said, "Have the people sit down." There was plenty of grass in that place, and the men sat down, about five thousand of them. Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish. When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, "Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted." So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten. (Vs 6:8-13)



When the yard sale was over, I still had some things to sell on Craigslist and enough to fill the back of my 15 passenger van to give as a donation to a homeless shelter in town.  God used those 3 boxes, multiplied them through the generosity of others and allowed us to have a substantial gift for the ministry and have a van full of blessings left over!  Our God is sooo good.




God, You choose to bless us even though we don't deserve it.  You allow us to work for the good of those You love!  Thank you for the privilege of seeing Your miracles in action.  Help me obey You as a slave.  Let me "Offer myself to you  as a slave , I who am a slave to the one whom I obey - a slave to obedience, which leads to righteousness." (Romans 6:16)  Amen.

God Provides a Bouncy Birthday Wish!

It was Mari's Birthday and because she is turning 4, we didn't do a "big" party.  She was a bit disappointed because she had a list of things she thought all birthdays should have.  I let her pick out the important ones (within reason) and tried to make her day special.  I realized with my first two kids that having a big birthday party every year wasn't the wisest choice for us.  It was too time consuming, exhausting, and expensive.  Now the kids get a "big" party at 5, 10, 13, 16, 18 and 21.  Then they are on their own.  The other birthdays, they are allowed to have cake and presents with our immediate family and maybe a date with a friend.

Letting Mari choose her party supplies took an extreme practice of patience on my part.  I had to completely let go of my controlling nature.  Nothing matched, but she was happy.  I even did "goodie bags" for her cousins and siblings.  We decided to go to the park for cake and gifts since I had had a bad cold the week before.  I was still feeling run down.  All the way to the park, Mari was trying to make sense of what her party would be like.  The only thing she wanted that she didn't have was a "jumpy house."  I have never ordered one before, but I understand they can be expensive.  I had a little tiny bit of guilt about not doing more for her party, but I was determined that I was going to teach the kids to focus on the eternal things and not the material things of this earth that we get so carried away with.  I talked about how fun it was going to be just playing with her brothers, sister and cousins. 

I hadn't thought to reserve a place at the park since it was only us, but when we got there, the only table area near the play structure was reserved.  UG!  I had been praying about trying to be a better steward and had felt guilty about spending money on frivolous stuff.  When I saw that the area was reserved, I started to wonder if I shouldn't have tried to buy my way into a nice day by throwing the big party that most people expect.  I then remembered that God has been teaching me about considering what I do.  I have felt that I need to weigh each thing with the things that are eternal and I realized that a picnic style party would be just as good.  I am fighting against my consumerism training!   I told Kevin to wait in the car for just a min. while I asked someone in the group if they were using the whole area.

The area was very large and most of the people were at the first few tables.  I went up to a small group at the front and excused myself right into a conversation.  Who should be in that group, but the person in charge of the party.  It was a corporate party for Smile Office Supplies.  I had no idea at the time that I was talking to the person in charge, but I asked if we could use one of the tables.  She said yes because their party was just about over.  Not only that, but she said the kids were welcome to jump in the Jumpy-house that they had rented because the man was late picking it up!!! 

The kids played in that bounce house for about a half hour and then went to play on the park.  The man came a few minutes after that to pick it up!!  God is so good!!!  I was trying so hard to honor HIM and not spend needlessly.  I am so guilty of putting my kids wants first that I sometimes put them in front of God!  YIKES.  I never want to do that and I realized I needed to make this a simple party, but what does God do??? He sees the desire of my daughter's heart and honors her with the one things she wanted anyway. 

What an amazing blessing!!!  She had a great day.  The weather was perfect, She got the presents she wanted most of all and she even got the bounce house until she was tired of it!  What an awesome God we serve!

While I Wait on The Lord

As I have been reading through the books of the Prophets in the Old Testament, I have been asking God to show me what he has for me to learn.  He has been so amazingly faithful.

The latest lessons have been very helpful.  He has used his word and examples of Godly people in my life to teach me His ways. 

As I was reading through Zechariah, I came upon the verse:  'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty..."Who despises the day of small things?..."  (Vs. 4:6b and 4:10a)  I was thinking about how I have to completely rely on God to allow me to participate in His will for my life.  He has set into motion the things that need to happen so that I can do the thing I so badly desire to do.  I worry about the small things, but He has them all in control.  I look on small things and think that nothing is happening, but I will see them all come together and be glad!  Waiting on the Lord is not my greatest strength.  Even though I acknowledge that the best blessings come when I wait and I can always see the beautiful wisdom in HIS timing verses mine.  But, truly relying on HIS strength is difficult.  I am so glad that I want to.  I am so glad that I am making it my goal.  I am so glad that through HIS power I can change and do it.

As an added blessing, I realize that God does have work for me to do while I wait on Him.  Praise God for work for my idle hands.  Thank God that I have occupation.  And I am so very grateful to our LORD who allows me to participate in His work.  Knowing that He doesn't need anything from me, but allows me to get a glimpse of His glory so that I can praise Him.  It is so exciting.  I can't explain it and there is nothing that compares to it.  If I heard it from someone else, I wouldn't believe it, but I live it so I know it and I LOVE it.  I continued reading in Zechariah and found these verses about being strong and doing the Lords work.  I think this is a great example to me that I am allowed to work!  Praise God that I don't just have to sit there.  It says, "let your hands be strong" in two places.  (Vs. 8:9 and 13)  I love that we are encouraged to work.  I know God makes us all unique for His purpose and I believe that although I know I am supposed to wait on Him, I also know that my propensity for excitement is ultimately for His glory.  I thank Him that I am so wonderfully made and that he makes provisions for that!

I continued reading Zechariah and I came to a question about whether or not the people of Bethel should mourn and fast. (Vs 7:2)  I have made a point of setting aside a regular time of prayer and fasting.  I found that those days were particularly hard.  I was thankful for it because it reminded me to seek God through the tough times so I was eager to hear how God answered these people.  God said "The fasts of the fourth, fifth, seventh and tenth months will become joyful and glad occasions and happy festivals for Judah."  (Vs. 8:19) I realized that my times of fasting were becoming very grumpy times for me.  I had also read a twitter of Katie Davis from Amazima Ministries.  One of her girls had complained to her in a cute way and her response was, "Does it get any better than this?"  I realized that if I viewed all the things that my kids did with that attitude, I would truly feel like the most blessed person in the world.  Because, really, does it get any better than this???  Many of the things that make me cranky are really adorable!  The very next time I fasted and prayed, my day was a blast simply because I remembered to think, "does it get any better than this?"  And you know what?  I'm not sure it does. 

Thank You God for the amazing ways You choose to teach me Your lessons.  Thank You that I get to work with toward Your will!  Thank You for teaching me to wait and for giving me something to do in the mean-time.  Thank You for the joy of my children because while I am here on this earth, "does it get any better than this?"  Amen!

13 Blessings

One of the reasons I am keeping this blog is that I want to remember and praise God for the good works He does in my life no matter how insignificant or great.  I want to remember to give HIM glory for the blessings and provisions.  I want to remember to teach my children to rely on HIM for their needs. 

Friday, I was excitedly making dinners for the weeks ahead, feeling like I was finally on track with being a good steward of my time and money.  Because I didn't properly prepare for the two weeks leading up to this day, we had been wasting a lot of money by eating out.  I made Pork Chops and a Chicken dish.  They both cook at the same temperature, but the pork chops have a shorter cook time.  I was preparing another meal when I heard a zzzttt sound.  When I turned around, I saw small flames in the back of the oven.  This happened to be my day of fasting, and when I saw the fire, my first thought was to get the kids out of the house and I worried because Mari was napping.  The very next thought I had was peace.  I knew it was going to be fine.  I turned off the oven and prayed that the smoke didn't ruin the food.  I waited until the fire was gone and then waited for the very small amount of smoke to clear, then I opened the oven door.  The Pork Chops were done!  The chicken wasn't done and I started to worry that I would have to throw it away.  Then, I remembered our gas barbeque.  I quickly called Kevin to make sure I didn't have to do anything to prevent the oven from catching on fire again and to ask about the best way to bake in the barbeque and then got to it.  About a half hour later, the chicken was done as well!  The barbeque worked amazingly.

I was so thankful that all my hard work was not wasted.  I had one more task at hand, though , and I had accidentally burned my finger pretty badly when I pulled the pan out of the barbeque.  Thankfully, at that moment, my mom stopped by and finished up for me.  I just had to cut some meat to get into the freezer before it spoiled, but that job would have been really painful to do with my burned finger. 

So, now I have a broken oven and a burned finger.  It doesn't sound great, but I was praising the Lord.  I was so excited that He would have this happen at this time!  Kevin and I had just been talking about what to do with the kitchen if we move.  It has worked well for us, but it wasn't exactly what most people would want, and if we left it how it was, it would have made the house less desirable as a rental property.  (Which is what we plan to do with it if we move.)  So, we knew we needed to do something.  The oven was (at one time) a double wall oven.  When we moved in, the upper oven was missing so we put a broken microwave there to fill in the space and we used it as storage for dry goods.  The lower oven was the oven we used.  Also, the range top has been broken for years and the back burner is really the only one that works well.  As I said, it worked for us, but not everyone would call this the ideal kitchen.

We spent much of Sat. looking for a new oven and a better way to arrange the space.  I really didn't want to go too long without an oven, but knew it wasn't too much of a rush because I just cooked a bunch of meals!  The trouble was that our oven seemed to be a weird size.  We measured, called, remeasured, had other people measure, looked at instruction manuals, etc.  Finally we came to the conclusion that we were going to have to rebuild the cabinet. (NOT something Kevin feels confident doing.)  We found double ovens on craigslist and then we were blessed to find double ovens AND a range top for a third of what new double ovens would cost!  We picked them up Sunday afternoon and Kevin had them installed by Sunday night.  The best part (like all that isn't good enough)?  They fit perfectly!  Absolutely perfectly.  (And no, they are not the same ovens - not even the same brand!!!)  What an amazing blessing!  I am so thankful that God just saw us perfectly through all of this.  The ovens look great, I LOVE having two ovens. (I feel so spoiled.) And they were super cheap!  The only bummer is that I have cooked all of our meals for the next week or so, so I have no reason to use them!!!  HA!  Only God!  I did dig out a package of brownie mix last night.  I just couldn't resist.

Let's count the blessings:
1.  Was fasting and praying
2.  Was trying to follow God's will in being a good steward of my resources
3.  The food was cooked
4.  The food that wasn't cooked was able to be cooked on the barbeque
5.  My mom stopped by just at the right time to help me finish
6.  The fire was uneventful
7.  The food didn't get ruined by the smoke at all.
8.  The answer to "what to do with this kitchen" was crystal clear.
9.  Due to the size of everything, including our kitchen, without a major remodel, there was only one option
10.  We were able to find the ovens for about 1/3 of what it would cost new plus we got a range as well!
11.  They fit perfectly - even though every measurement and cut-out guide said they wouldn't
12.  We were not in a hurry because food was already made.
13.  Kevin is able to install these things willingly.

Just a note...as I was "counting" these blessings, I realized that I came up with 13.  Funny, because all of this happened on Friday, August 13th.  I love to see the way God shows Himself in every little detail.  He is so good to me! A passage from Ezekiel, repeated over and over again:  Then they will know that I am the LORD.  36:38

Praise God!  You are the Lord.  You make it known, over and over again.  Thank you for providing the small and great blessings.  In Jesus' name I pray!  Amen!

The Desert

I was just thinking...

So many times, we say something like "This is just my time in the desert." or "I must be in the desert."  Usually, this is "Christian-ese" meaning, "I am in a bad spot" or a "waiting period."  It implies that it is a time when God is distant and we are waiting on HIM to act on our behalf.

As you know, I have been pondering the image of success and affluence lately.  I am thought a lot about what it means to have plenty, be blessed, etc...  I have realized that although we have an abundance of material possessions, we are impoverished spiritually. 

These two thoughts entered my mind today and even before today and have been mingling together in there like a stew.  If we say "...time in the desert" to mean that we are waiting or hurting, how does that fit in Biblically with the actual reference.

In Exodus, the Israelites were jammin' out of captivity.  God provided for them the Pillar of Fire by night and a Pillar of clouds by day.  Then, after a lot of whining, God provided food that they had to simply pick up and eat. 

I realize that wandering through the desert would be tough  I personally know how it feels to wait for the Lord to reveal something.  I also know now that in the desert, life wouldn't be comfortable.  How much better would it be to already be in the promise land, the land God had for them! 

But, when I think about it again, when I am too comfortable, I may not "see" the pillar of clouds by day or the pillar of fire by night.  I rely on myself to get food instead of looking to God as the provider.  How easy it becomes to be self-reliant.  I realize again that I am living in spiritual poverty.  How much better would it be to give up the physical comforts to have God's daily presence!  To actually SEE HIM!  To be fed by HIS hand!  To daily experience the miracles He chose to perform.  And yet, they complained.  I know I would have too.  I already do and I have so much.  It seems impossible, but it is true. 

I realize that some people are referring to the time after the rebellion (Numbers 14) when the Israelites are in big trouble for doubting, but I think I like to reflect on the time of wandering from Egypt.  I Pray Pray Pray that God would choose to reveal Himself to me today and everyday.  I pray that I am willing to give up the physical comforts for HIS presence!  What could compare?

Call Me Crazy

I caught myself saying, more than once, "There is only enough room for about 8 kids.  Maybe 10, but by then we might need something bigger."  I never would have imagined these words coming from my mouth.  Don't get me wrong, it isn't too far fetched that I would like a large family since I like kids an awful lot.  But!  8? 10? 12?  If you ask me how many kids I think I will  have, the answer would be an even dozen.  Why not more?  Maybe more.  Considering my potential life expectancy and current earning ability, 12 seems like it is on the edge of do-able.  But, in my heart, when someone asks the question, "Are you going to have more kids?"  My answer is, "Are there more to be had?" 

It would be an incredible blessing to be able to say, "I am done having kids because there are no more kids that need homes."  What a miracle that would be.  I pray that the first thing Jesus shows me in heaven is that there are no more orphans. 

David was worried tonight about the new house getting crowded as we seek to bring in more kids.  Then, I showed PART of the photo listing of waiting children...now he wants to grow up to be a spokes person for the orphan and he is OK sharing his home.  He hopes it helps him share his message!!!

Most people say, "12 kids, are you crazy?"

I hope I am.  Crazy in God's will is always where I want to be.  Noah had to seem crazy to build that big ol' ark.  I am looking for a big ol' house to bring in God's creation.  Am I crazy like NOAH???  Please say yes! 

The disciples had to seem crazy when they dropped their fishing nets and walked after Jesus.  Am I crazy like them???  Please say Yes!

King David.  (One of my favorites because of this moment!) was despised by his wife because he was acting like a crazy man.  I love 2 Samuel 6: 12-16 Now King David was told, "The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God." So David went down and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing.  When those who were carrying the ark of the LORD had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf.  David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.  As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

My pride asks me to stop looking foolish.  Don't do anything crazy.  But, then I ask God.  "What shall I do?"  He says:  But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. "Get behind me, Satan!" he said. "You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."  Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Mark 8:33-34

Tonight I pray:  God.  Let me be crazy for YOU!  Show me how I can follow you so that everyone who sees me will wonder what I am up to.  Please don't let my pride, my fear or anything get in the way of hearing Your voice and following Your will.  I confess to you that I put myself first.  Please help me help my kids to see Your heart too so that our whole family will be crazy for You.  Even if we are despised because of it.  AMEN!

Courage

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can

and wisdom to know the difference.

As the pastor began preaching on this prayer Sunday morning, my first thoughts were about how I didn't need to hear this message.  That statement in itself was a red flag.  Usually, if I think those thoughts about a sermon, I probably really need to hear it!  The trouble was, I thought this message was going to be about addiction.  Like, drugs, alcohol, etc.  I don't have an addiction.  (Unless you want to count food and caffeine.)

As I acknowledged that I needed to hear the sermon, I listened very carefully for God to reveal the message he has hidden in there just for me.  When I ask Him to show me, He is always faithful.  The message for me was undoubtedly courage.  (And wisdom.)

I had a dream the other night that was about living in the New House and having a bad-guy shoot a gun at my house.  I was left in fear.  Because I know the Lord is not the God of fear, I prayed that I would understand the dream.  I felt God saying to me that I might be afraid as we go through this process, but that He was there with me and that I don't need to be afraid.

Now, tie that dream into my passion...the orphan crisis...and I am able to begin to understand why God might have had me listen to that sermon.  I am so passionate about children without homes.  It kills me to think about.  It breaks my heart.  I want to run off and take care of everyone of them.  Obviously, I can't.  It isn't even a little bit possible.  I need the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  I also need to trust my husband's strategy for helping as many as we can.  Effecting as many people as God has for us to effect.  This is where I need courage. 

We are moving forward with the move.  I was overwhelmed with fear.  I was sick to my stomach at the step we were taking.  Thankfully, the thoughts that were coming into my head were so ridiculous that I immediately got out my Bible and filled my head with thoughts that were in line with what God has for me. 

Here are some funny things that cropped up!  First:  I was reading Philippians and I came across this verse:  I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. vs 1:20.  Then, I finished Philippians and was reading about the prophet Jeremiah and how he was hated and how he had to have COURAGE to continue his prophetic ministry. 

That word COURAGE.  I found it everywhere:  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua

I know now how that prayer applies to me. 

Lord.  Please grant me the serenity to understand that I don't have to take on the entire orphan crisis on my own and that by doing so, I might get in my own way of doing what You have for me to do.  Please give me the COURAGE to do the things I can to work toward helping those children You place in my care.  Please help me not to be afraid due to my own doubts and insecurities.  Please help me trust you to be the one to provide, that I don't have to take all that on nor do I have to expect Kevin to do it.  And Lord - PLEASE grant me the wisdom to know the difference.  To know when to get myself out of my own way so that I am not running in a direction that is the opposite of where you would have me go just because it feels good to be moving.  Please grant me the peace to be still and wait on Your direction.  Please grant me the wisdom in obvious ways - blocking my path if I go astray.  How humble am I that I can come before you and ask these things.  How amazing YOU are that you are willing to be active with me in my life that You make Yourself known and that I can count on You to lead and guide me.  Amen!!!

Something Simple

As I started pondering the wonderful and exciting path God had for my life, I was also reading though Amazma's blog. I doubt there was anytime I was ever more "on fire" for the Lord than then. In fact, I always thought that was a strange saying, but it really fit! (It still seems like a strange saying.) The person who writes the blog is named Katie and she lives in Uganda helping and loving people there in the name of the Lord. She is such an amazing inspiration, that she motivated me to examine my own life.

I prayed over my own life, my desires, my gifts. I asked God what part of His mission I could be part of. I told God how excited I was to be part of this. I confessed my laziness and apathy. I was so eager. I told God, "I will go to Uganda if you want me to!" God's gentle voice came to me asking if I meant it. "Of course I do!!! I will go! I will serve you!" (Of course, in my eagerness, I had no plans for how this would work out, but if it was God's calling, it would work. In that way I had strong faith." Again, I heard God's voice asking if I meant it. "Of course I mean it!!!" Was my answer again.

Then God asked, "But you won't go 7 miles?" 

"Uh, what?"

"You will go to Uganda, but you won't go 7 miles?"

"Um. What are we talking about?"

At this point, God was silent because I knew full well what He was talking about. 7 miles from my current home is another city. A very nice neighborhood with very large homes. BUT! It means I leave all the conveniences of here to move there. It will seem to everyone else that we just moved. No biggie. If I moved to Uganda, then I was a "Hero" a "Missionary." If I move 7 miles, nothing. Not that I was in it for the accolades, but I also wasn't looking for any unnecessary inconveniences either. Uh oh. There it was. The sin that was part of the problem. I was embarrassed to move to that part of town. THIS part of town is much more desirable.

I think God doesn't need me in Uganda at the moment. It seems God needs me to move...7 miles.

This whole encounter reminds me of the story of Naaman in 2 Kings 5. It is funny because as I was going through this "conversation" with God, I taught this story a couple of times AND my friend brought it to my attention at a prayer meeting. My guess? Not a coincidence.

In case you aren't familiar with the story, here is my version (God's version is significantly better) and the way I would make it if I were directing the movie:


Naaman is sick so he goes to see Elisha. Elisha knows he is coming and why but realizes that God's got this one handled without much fuss on Elisha's part. When Naaman gets to Elisha's, a servant comes and gives him instructions on how to be healed. (In the movie this information would be given to Elisha in a dismissing tone...but that is my artistic impression.) Naaman is MAD. "Isn't Elisha even going to come out???" "Nope." And with that, the servant shuts the door. Naaman had all sorts of grand plans for what Elisha could do - they all involved very complicated rituals. Naaman looks at the servant who was with him and asks, "Can you believe that guy? Some "Prophet" he turned out to be. Well, I guess we wasted a trip. Let's go."

But the Servant thought, "Huh, well, we are here. Let's give it a try." Now Naaman was mad at him to. How dare he!!! "If he gave you something hard to do, you would do it, but he didn't. Why not try it?" The servant was trying to save his tushy now.

"Fine." Naaman just wants to get home and thought it would be easier to try this thing than listen to the servant all the way home.

And he was healed...I wonder if I would have responded just like Naaman. I was willing to do the hard things...Uganda...but the easy thing??? Ha. I learned from Naaman. I am out looking...7 miles from here.

A Trap Set

Once, It was a while ago, I was given a yummy German-Chocolate pastry to try. I loved it!!! I was so mad because before that day, I never had tried one before, so I never knew how good they were. You might be thinking, "That sounds like a good thing!" Well, let me tell you why it isn't:

I love sweets! Love, love, love them. I would probably forgo any other food if it were possible to survive on sugar alone. I have a hard time controlling my cravings - even more so since I have had kids. Before I tried that yummy desert, I never knew I liked it, which meant I never knew I wanted it, which meant I never had a craving for it. See the downward spiral I am facing?

Cute as this anecdote is, it is a snippet of a picture of my walk with the Lord. There are things I have a hard time turning away from. Things that, in themselves, aren't bad, but they are things that distract me from GOD! Yikes! AND! I can't help but make a parallel between the "if I never tried it" thoughts I have about the pastry, and the "If I never tried it" thoughts I have about the things that distract me from God.

I love Disneyland. I went there on my honeymoon and I have been thinking about going there again on vacation. But, wait. I need to stop and think. Is that something that I could do without to further serve God? If I never went there, would I want to go again?

I was reading a book called "A hole in our Gospel" - a GREAT book, by the way. Something I realized while reading was that perhaps we are cursed by our affluence. Since we don't have a need, we are blind to the needs of others. Since we can afford a trip to Disneyland, perhaps we don't realize what it is like to not be able to afford to eat? I don't think Disneyland is the problem at all. But, if my desire for Disneyland out-weighs my desire to serve the poor, seek God's will, then it's as if I made my idol the bobble-head Mickey. I never want to say, "I would serve You God, but I can't because of the vacations (or pedicures, or dinners out, or new clothes, or nicer cars, or new furniture, etc.) I would be missing...

I am challenged to examine my life and see what things I am putting before the Lord and then I am challenged to watch for things that can ensnare me. I know I need to stay away from the German-Chocolate pastry.

My prayer today is: Heavenly Father, giver of all good gifts. If there is something I am putting ahead of you, please reveal it to me today and help me avoid it like poison! Help me not even know about the things out there that would ensnare me if I ever gave them any attention. Help me FLEE from evil. Keep me from sinning against You in this way. Lord, please let my focus remain on you that I would never allow myself to grieve an idol that I have made in place of you. Help me remember Isaiah 40:18 To whom, then, will you compare God? What image will you compare Him to? and Isaiah 40:31 But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Amen.

Isaiah

I asked God, "Why do You want me to read Isaiah? It is a horrible book. Very sad, depressing, really. It breaks my heart that these kinds of things happen. I am grateful for Your constant reminders throughout, though, that these things are temporary. Earthly. That Your promise is greater than we can imagine. Who knows the mind of the Lord?"

Image via Wikipedia

And the Lord ANSWERED!!! I am reading the book: The Hole in the Gospel. It quotes Isaiah over and over again. REMINDING us to care for the oppressed, the orphan and the widow. REMINDING us that true religion is service to those in need. REMINDING us of God's promises for the poor. Giving me affirmation to pray and fast with a pure heart, not out of religious duty. All of these messages are found - you guessed it - in the book of Isaiah! What an INSPIRATIONAL book! What an uplifting message! What a change in attitude when GOD speaks through HIS word, and I don't just read it with my own eyes and limited understanding. What a true LIVING God I serve!

Thank you LORD!!! You hear my prayers and answer them. Your sheep hear Your voice and know You. Thank You for speaking to me!!!

Light

I was sitting in a room at church with a friend. We met there to pray late on a Friday night, so we were alone and able to have an energetic discussion before we began seeking the Lord! What a blessing to have that time.

The lights overhead lights are on sensors to help save electricity when no one is in the room. As we were praying together, suddenly, the lights went off! After a wiggle, the lights returned. As we prayed, I thanked God for this little reminder that HE was there among us.

Just think. God is there. When I walked into the room, I was not surprised to find the lights come on, just like I shouldn't be surprised to find God in that room. But, then what happened when we were still? The lights went off. I am not saying that God was no longer with us. I knew he was, but I was thinking that: We see God's light when His people MOVE! We don't sit still, or hide away His blessings. When we move, God's light shines!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

How often do I hide the light and joy that God has given me because I am like the wicked and lazy servant. Too worried about myself to share God's blessing.

"The the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

"'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. Matthew 25:24-29

I don't want to be the servant who hides the talent. Who doesn't move...Who would put a light under a bed??? Not me. I want to move. I want to see God's light shine. In the verses right before this criticism:

The man with the two talents also came. "Master," he said, "You have entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more."

His master replied, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share in your master's happiness!"

Matthew 25:22-23

Thank you God for the little reminders. Daily. Thank you for showing up for us when we are looking for You! Thank you for the light, and the LIGHT of the World. Thank you that you show us to MOVE for you that we are able to spread your light, keep it going, be part of Your will. That is the most amazing thing: that we can be called Your children. I am honored to be your servant, Lord. Please help me not hide my "talent" in the ground, but help me use it for Your glory so that when You look to see what I have done, You will say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." I am desperate to hear those words from You. Please make me into that kind of person for you. Please help me not be afraid to do what should be done to bring you honor and Glory!

Fountain of Youth

It has been my observation lately that accept for one individual, the people I find inspiring are significantly younger than I am. They pursue their dreams with abandon.

The song: "Albertine" by Brooke Fraser has been somewhat of a "theme song" for now. It has caused me to think carefully about my responsibilities while I am here.

"Katie" from Amazima has been another influential person in my life.

Leah, also much younger, has been locally inspirational and motivational.

I am so grateful to all of these people.

The thing I am learning the most from them though, is that it would be much better to surrender completely. Not holding onto anything of this world, but seeking only what God has for me now. Better - I would have done this all along.

It is so easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of life and the securities. What happened to living like every minute matter? What happened to realizing that we live in a country that makes failure just a hurdle, not a tragedy. What if we passionately follow the path God sets for us and stop worrying about the worldly standards that we don't meet?

Can we put away our childish passions? Can we put aside the things we are "supposed" to do?

I remember being young and being more willing to change. I was more flexible. As I was considering if it was the youthfulness that brought these ladies into a close walk with the Lord, this verse was brought to my mind: 2 Timothy 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. And, as I was meditating on this verse, I came to the realization that the evil desires of my youth got in my way. I let myself remain immature, focusing on things that were distracting me from God's purpose. What would have happened if I had realized this sooner? Made that change while I was young? How am I responsible for not pursuing the Lord out of a pure heart. It causes me to want to seize the day. Make the most of every moment.

The song "Come, Now is the Time to Worship" reminds me: One day ev'ry tongue will confess you are God, One day ev'ry knee will bow. Still the greatest treasure remains for those who gladly choose you now.

I pray tonight that I can capture His love, seize the day, and make every day count. Lord, thank you for showing me new things every day and for putting these people in my life to encourage me. I am so thankful for the revelations that You give to me through Your Word. Thank you for songs that help me keep focused on You! I pray that I can keep seeking you, putting away the evils instilled in me since childhood. I also pray that I can keep my focus on you without getting distracted. At the same time that I am putting away the evil desires of youth, I pray that You give me the energy and passion from my youth to eagerly do Your will. Thank you LORD!!! Through Jesus' sacrifice for me, I pray!